MEDIEVAL TIMES
We headed towards one of the dinner
theaters that dotted the landscape around Myrtle
Beach . These are establishments designed to
provide a live-action show for their audience, who gets to eat while watching.
Usually the menus are pretty basic, as it tries to follow the theme of
the show. We were on our way to Medieval Times, which would be my (belated)
birthday dinner. Considering I’d done medieval re-enactment with the SCA
before, I was pretty sure my meal would be some sort of hearty stew. I
like thick stews, especially when accompanied by a good hunk of bread to sop it
up with.
One of the places we passed on the
way there caught my attention. I asked Molly why she didn’t mention there
was a House of Blues in the area. That would’ve been a great place to
visit, even if we weren’t going to eat there (and just poke around inside, like
we did with the Hard Rock Café). She commented that she didn’t think that
would’ve been something I was interested in, so she never thought to get a
brochure on that. The rest of the week was pretty planned out, so we wouldn’t
be able to hit this time. She commented
we’ll remember it for when we come next year.
The building for Medieval Times was
rather hard to miss, as its huge white castle structure. This was far
larger than both House of Blues and Hard Rock Café combined. From the outside, to me it looked roughly the
size of the field house where my college hockey team played, or even the Glens Falls Civic Center Europe .
Tapestries and replica weapons decorated the walls. All the
employees were dressed in some period manner, like scullery boys and bar
wenches. You even got to have your picture taken with the King, which
you’d purchase upon leaving. We were all given different color paper
crowns (one size fits all), and it was suggested to wear them, in order to join
in with the fun.
Dinner was set for a specific time,
so we all gathered in the lobby area until it was time to go in. We’d
purchased tickets ahead of time, although some could be gotten at the door.
We were lead into a large arena, which was the size of a hockey rink.
The arena had a dirt floor, and a “castle gate” to one side (which was
like the service entrance the zamboni uses). There were about a dozen
tiers of seats which circled the arena, and they were designed with a
table-like shelf in order to put your food. There was a narrow space in
front of that, but before the next set of seats (set a bit lower), which
allowed the staff to travel along the rows.
All the place settings had pewter
plates and bowls, but plastic mugs. There were no utensils. Soft drinks were free refills, but beer was
extra. Once every one was seated, the servers brought a small whole
chicken (perhaps a Cornish hen) for you, and some rolls. This was
designed to eat with your fingers, in the medieval style. Give in to your
inner barbarian, and rip it apart you’re your hands. I was famished, and
finished mine a little sooner than the others around me. One of the
servers (who referred to the guests as “m’lord” and “m’lady”) asked if I wanted
another one. It was tasty, and I probably could’ve consumed it, but I
didn’t know what the subsequent courses might be, so I declined.
Each of the sections of the arena
were color coded, and the crowns worn by the guests match the area they were
in. We sat in “Red Sector.” There were also black, green, yellow,
white, and blue. Each section had a knight who was the champion, and you
root for your guy to win. The king announced this would be contest to
“entertain his subjects” (read: guests). It was a tournament style
contest, which displayed both horsemanship and combat skills. The knights
would try to lance hanging rings, and do dexterous maneuvers while riding, in
addition to jousting with each other, plus some one-on-one combat on foot.
Each champion had a couple squires who picked up fallen weapons, shields,
or whatever, and scooped the horse poop when one decided it needed to go.
These were showmen, entertainers
performing a routine. The knights were people who did this every day, and
I could tell. There was no “randomness” that an actual battle would have
(as witnessed by skill-driven SCA tourneys), but a scripted sequence which they
followed. Even pretending, un-sharpened blades or lances with the force of
a charging horse behind it could still do serious damage, so these routines
allowed the show to appear as realistic as possible and still keep the performers
safe.
As expected, some of the champions
had to be “bad guy” and act “less than honorable” than the other knights.
After being censured by the King a couple times for “not fighting fair,”
he would be ejected from the tournament. This was the Green Knight. Before departing, he’d have yell at the other
champions about how “this stain on his honor will not go un-avenged,” and ride
out the “castle gate” in a loud and showy manner. As the contest
progressed, some champions would yield, thereby eliminated. Everyone
cheered when their guy scored points, and booed when their guy was taken out.
There was the same energy as people supporting their team at a sporting
event. I peppered my cheers with appropriate Monty Python quotes from Holy
Grail (variations of “It’s just a flesh wound,” and “The Black Knight
always triumphs!”).
When there was only one remaining
(the Red Knight), the banished Green Knight rode back in to demand his right of
vengeance, otherwise there’d be war in the land. The remaining knight,
now acting as the King’s Champion rose to the challenge, as the events took on
a more dramatic flare. At that point I had to yell “Kick Gawain’s ass!”
(which I’m sure not everyone got the literary reference). In the end, as
expected, the King’s Champion wins, the bad knight surrenders, and peace is
maintained in the land. Then all the
performers then come back in for their bows and applause from the audience.
While that’s going on, the servers come by with warm towels for all the
guests to clean their hands.
There are other locations of
Medieval Times across the country, with the closest one to our home was in Toronto . While I
expect the shows to be no different than here, this would be a great thing for
the gaming group to go together. This was a fun experience which I
certainly look forward to having again.
ANIMAL PRESERVE
Remember the cactus guy on our
antenna I mentioned earlier? We came out that morning to find he was
gone. Nothing else was done to the car; tires were okay, no scratches on
the door. But some asshole had pulled him off, which would’ve been quite
chore due to the rubbery material it was made of. Okay, perhaps he was
cut off, but still, he was kidnapped. The antenna wasn’t damaged in any
way, but it was still annoying that someone felt they needed to abscond with
it.
We set out to find this animal
preserve Molly had read about in a brochure, which was called the Waccatee Zoo.
The day was a little overcast, so we didn’t spend as much time on the
beach as we did other days. While being billed as a “zoo,” this was more
of an area which held animals that used to be kept by private individuals.
Some millionaire will by a tiger cub because he thinks it’s cool, and
then tries to give it to a zoo when it grows up (and the food bill becomes too
high). Zoos often don’t take these animals because they may not have been
properly socialized. So they get placed in these rescue preserves, and
then smaller (more docile) animals get brought into turn this more into an
attraction.
The route took south of the main Myrtle Beach area, out
into an area which was way past the residential section. We were starting to think we’d gone in the
wrong direction. The sign to turn into
this place wasn’t well-marked, and the main entrance had a tree in the middle
of the road. The diameter was that where at least four adults would have
to stretch their arms around it to cover the entire girth, and you could swing
the road around this damn thing?
When we wandered around the area,
we didn’t see any starving animals or any real bad conditions, but some of the
enclosures were not the best construction. Some of the smaller animals
had more room to run around, but the larger pens looked far tinier than they should
for the animals they contained. It was nice to see a tiger in the area,
and he looked friendly enough, but he should’ve had a larger area to run
around.
There were some areas which had
goats and smaller herd animals around which acted as a petting zoo, and also
had a bird sanctuary. From looking at
the strictly nature aspect, it looked nice, but from the angle of a thriving
zoo, we found this to be lacking. We
still had fun looking around the area, but this wasn’t as near as good as we
expected it to be. Perhaps a serious
infusion of cash and/or support for this place will allow it to be better in
the future. Depending on what
information we hear will depend if we go to check this out on the next trip.
For current information on the places visited:
House of Blues: http://www.houseofblues.com/venues/clubvenues/myrtlebeach/
Medieval Times: http://www.medievaltimes.com/myrtlebeach.aspx
Waccatee Zoo: http://www.waccateezoo.com/home.html
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