NOT A NORMAL TRAVEL BLOG
ENTRY
I obviously did more than what’s
detailed in the entry during the year of 2011.
This isn’t really a tale of where I went (so you can go yourself and
enjoy the experience), as much as it chronicle of what I did. I hope its presentation comes off as funny
and witty (as well as informative) as the other entries I’ve done.
I like to think that you can apply
what you’ve learned from my experimentation here, and apply it the beverages of
your own choice. You’ll probably find
combinations that I didn’t think of, and you can rate them accordingly to your
own tastes. I’m sure you won’t agree
with many of my ratings on things (as we all have our likes & dislikes),
but I hope I’ve done two things. One, I
hope I’ve find some mixes which should be regarded as “cautionary tales” so you
don’t do them yourselves. And two, I
hope I’ve expanded your horizons to combinations you hadn’t considered.
SO HOW DOES SHIT LIKE THIS GET STARTED IN THE FIRST PLACE ?
In the briefest sense, for a
December holiday someone got me a gift card to a liquor store, and a book about
various rum drinks, with the intent that I use the gift card to attempt some of
the suggestions in the tome I was given.
The book (Rum Drinks: 50 Caribbean Cocktails, From Cuba
There was another, more practical
reason, too. Why many of the recipes
looked very good, I was bound by a time factor.
Okay, I’m lazy enough not to want to spend longer making a drink than
the time it actually takes for me to drink the drink. I want something which as few ingredients as
possible, so it doesn’t take me too long to make my evening cocktail. I’ll do the “big mixes” when I’m entertaining
some peeps, but when I do my nightly evening cocktail, I want it to be
simple. I like the “Booze plus Mixer
equals My Drink” equation.
I then came with the idea on how to
best use the gift card (for Austin’s very own Twin Liquors local chain, by the
way; shop local where possible). I’d get
a wide variety of rums (as that is my preferred poison), and find a number of
different things to combine them with.
Going through the super market, or some other specialty stores I might
end up at, continued to yield a number of candidates. I started with about a dozen mixers, and
added others as I went along.
In the end, to have some matter of
order to this, I chose five types of rums to get the widest possible
varieties. This began in late January
2011, and by the time the experiment was completed at the end of July, I’d done
twenty-five different mixers. Yes, each
flavor of rum was combined with each mixture, so I consumed over a hundred different
drinks. And to add a little bit of
strangeness to this, there was also a bottle of tequila which was used in a
small number of the concoctions. That
gave me another half-dozen or so variations.
To me, tequila isn’t as versatile as rum is, but if someone wants to try
this with the “worm’s brew” (or another fermented beverage), then have it.
THE GROUND RULES
The five rums were these: Bacardi (the regular, clean kind), Goslings
Dark, Bacardi Gold, Captain Morgan Spiced, and Parrot Bay Coconut (plus the
aforementioned bottle of Jose Cuervo Gold).
That gave four basic rum types, plus one flavor representation. There are dozens of “flavored rums,” and I
could’ve easily doubled the number of drinks I set myself up to drink that way,
but I wanted to keep some manner of control here.
In my geekness, I made an Excel
spread sheet to track my progress. Each
alcohol type had a column, and each mixer had a row. The box where those two axioms intersected
would be the date I consumed it, and the rating I gave. Wanted to keep everything pretty consistent
here. A general rule of thumb was one or
two combinations each night. The dates I
drank them weren’t as important as the results.
Each mixer is tried in succession
with each of the rums (in the order of the “five plus one” listed above). Mixer A is tried with Rum A, then Rum B, etc,
before moving on to Mixer B, and so forth.
Each drink is made the same way, one-quarter booze (which was a standard
“shot,” with the rest being mixer. Oh,
and note no matter how the combination turns out, I’m still drinking it
(because not to do so would be alcohol abuse).
>grin<
Below is the five-star rating
system notes how well I thought the combination (and my criteria for what
defined a star rating):
One Star -- Horrible (“Don’t ever
mix again! Does not go together.”)
Two Stars – Below Average (“Didn’t
think the mix was the best, but was drinkable.”)
Three Stars – Average (“Not bad or
so-so. Neither good nor bad.”)
Four Stars – Above Average
(“Interesting combination. Give it a
try, you might like it. YMMV.”)
Five Stars – Exceptional (“Well
mixed. A new favorite!”)
As you’ll read below when doing the
experiment, a couple “half-stars” were given because I couldn’t make up my mind
as to which category to put a concoction in, and there was an instance of “Zero
Stars” given to something which was so horrendous I wouldn’t wish it on my
worst enemy. From the “One Stars” (and
single “Zero”), I hope you’ll have learned what *not* to drink.
AND SO IT BEGINS….
Whenever you do an experiment, you
need a “control” in which to gauge your results against; something you know how
it is, so others can be compared to it.
For me, it’s the life-blood I call Dr. Pepper, and the fav regular basic
Bacardi. I like it a lot, and that was
the first consumed for the Great Rum Experiment of 2011. The mixers are listed below in the order I
tried them.
I tried to make some notes to
myself in the margins of the spread sheet, on the idea that at some point this
level of geekness will be developed into some format that others would read
(and hopefully enjoy). During the actual
consumption of each the drinks, I posted comments about them on my CrackBook
page for the initial “gut reaction.” I’m
keeping the comments more clinical and restrained here.
DR. PEPPER: DP and Bacardi is my regular, and what I
usually get when I’m out and about, so it earned a solid Four Star rating. I thought the tastes worked well together
(much the way Bacardi mixes well with Coke).
Goslings Dark and Bacardi Gold each netted Three Stars, as they were
decent. Four Stars were awarded to both
Captain Morgan Spiced and Parrot Bay Coconut, as I very much enjoyed how they
turned out. And then for good measure, I
tried DP with the tequila. My advice to
you is don’t. It was Two Stars, thus not
very enjoyable.
SPRITE: A representation of a “light carbonated
beverage,” Sprite generally just sucks to begin with. The alleged “lemon-lime” flavor isn’t really
there to begin with, but it was enough to make every combination not good. Two Stars across the board. What a way to start February.
MOJITO MIX: I don’t recall the specific brand this, but I
don’t think that made a difference. A
mojito is classic, minty-tasting rum drunk, but it was never one that’s ever
impressed me in the past. I tried not to
let that color my perceptions. Still, in
the end it continued not to impress me, and yielded a solid Two Stars for each
of the combinations.
COCONUT WATER: Yeah, wouldn’t say this was a winner, as it
was giving Two Stars to everything. For
some reason I expected it to clash with the coconut rum, but that ended up
doing the opposite. Two forms of coconut
greatly enhanced each other, and yielded the first set of Four Stars since the
Dr. Pepper mixes. There was a success I
knew I could share with people. Have at
it, folks, and give that one a try!
GINGER ALE: I used a generic brand for this, as I didn’t
think it would make a difference. While
Two Stars were earned by the Goslings, Gold, and Spiced varieties, the others rated
Three Stars. Now you have something else
you know you can order at your favorite watering hole.
IBC ROOT BEER: Figure if I was going to try root beer, I’d
start with one of the best (and widely-obtainable) varieties. This gave me the same results as ginger ale
did, with regular Bacardi and Parrot
Bay
APPLE CIDER: I was now into March. This ended up being a good find across the
board, and another one you could add to your “could order at the bar”
list. While both Bacardi’s only rated
Two Stars, everything else was Three Stars.
For my northern peeps who cider is way of life in the Autumn months, you
now have a way to enhance it.
IBC CREAM SODA: One good IBC deserves another. I expected similar results, and was
pleasantly surprised. Sure regular
Bacardi and Goslings only gave Two Stars, but Spiced gave Three Stars. The best mixes were with the Gold and Parrot Bay
GINGER BEER: A different animal than ginger ale, as I’ve
had more types of ginger beer that I’ve liked than ginger ale. For this, I used Bundaberg Ginger Beer (from Australia ), as opposed to normal Royalty brand
(from England ). Two Star ratings were earned by everything,
except two items. The mix with the
coconut rum ended up not being bad, which earned Three Stars. That was a nice change from the combination
with resulted from the Goslings. That
one was pretty bad, but I didn’t feel it merited a “one star” rating, and I
didn’t like it enough to “curve the grade” up.
When you can’t decide between two numbers next to each other, find the
half-way point. I granted a
“One-and-a-Half Star” rating to the Goslings mix due to my waffling over
it. That was still the first “rather bad”
concoction I’d come up with (and this was “round ten,” so all together not a
bad start). I was half-way through March
by now.
MARGARITA MIX: Yeah, after the mojito mix didn’t yield great
results, you’d think I was strange to try this one. C’mon!
You’ve read this far and haven’t figured out I’m strange yet? Now just for “control” purposes, I rate the
tequila poured into this mix as Four Stars, but how would the rum turn
out? Surprisingly, not as bad as I
thought. Sure Goslings and Spiced only
gave Two Stars, but it was nice the two Bacardi entries gave Three Stars. The great find was the Parrot Bay Coconut,
whose mix yielded my seventh Four Star rating (four of those being items non-DP
combos). I felt I had created the
“Rum-A-Rita”! Tah dah! By now I’d gotten a lot of “below average”
variations, so it’s nice when a gem is discovered. That, after all, was one of the purposes of
this little experiment. >grin<
GINGER MIXER: Okay, I was trolling around World Market one
day looking for new candidates when I came across “Old Ballycastle Ginger Micro
Batch Cocktail Mixer.” Shit, with a name
like that, it’s worth a try. And it
ended up being worth it. Three Stars for
Goslings, Spiced, and Coconut, Two Stars for the others. Now to end out the month of March (and
because this was a pretty decent showing), I decided to see how well it went
with tequila. Don’t. Do.
That. Again. The first actual One Star rating was earned,
and a new nasty drink that will rip up your insides was created. I don’t think eating the worm would’ve helped
any. But as the focus of this experiment
was rum in the first place, this mixer was a good find.
GATORADE FRUIT PUNCH: No, I wasn’t getting desperate as April
started, but attempting to be more creative.
I pretty much drink this flavor of Gatorade exclusively (as it’s what I
have when I come back in from doing a dog walk), it I had this on hand. Makes sense to try it. While Gatorade is advertised as a “thirst
quencher,” the resulting mixtures were not.
Everything netted Two Stars across the board. That was good enough to know that I probably wouldn’t
get any better results with any other flavor.
FUZE BANANA COLADA: This non-alcoholic beverage tastes so similar
to what it’s named, so I was very hopeful for this one. If this worked as well as a regular Pina
Colada mix, then I could have a healthy variation. (For those who don’t know, Fuze is designed
to have vitamins, and other good things, and a pleasant taste, too.) With each bit of rum I mixed with this, the
realization set in that this would not yield good results. In fact, this yielded no results. Every combination was horrible. Yes, it was One Star across the board. This was the low point of the whole
experiment, but something I saw as a necessary evil. Because I discovered you shouldn’t mix
anything with this flavor of Fuze, you don’t have. If you wish, please do so at your own
caution.
FUZE SLENDERIZE TROPICAL
PUNCH: Okay, I wasn’t ready to give on
Fuze yet, mainly because I’d gotten three different varieties to try. Even if they didn’t mix well, as least I had
a base which I liked to drink normally.
The reason why this kind is called “Slenderize” is because it’s supposed
to be better for you than the average Fuze drinks. I want to be healthy and drunk at the same
time. This ended up being a rather broad
spectrum with the results. Both Bacardi
types and Parrot Bay
FUZE STRAWBERRY GUYVA: I opened the month of May with the last of
the Fuze entries. It’s been very hit or
miss with this type of mixture, so I wasn’t sure what I’d end up with. I kept an open mind, but after trying this
across the board, nothing earned anything other than Two Stars. And after the tequila experience I just had
with one Fuze type, I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be a good idea to try it with
this.
APPLE JUICE: I drink this alot in the morning anyway
(instead of orange juice), so it seemed logical to try. This had great results. Sure the Gold only got Two Stars, but the
rest of the rums blended well enough to give Three Stars. In some manner, the regular Bacardi could
actually have a Four Star rating simply for the reason apple juice is available
on airplanes. The ability to ask for a
drink that makes the flight attendant give you an odd look is certainly worth
another star. It has been something I’ve
since ordered on trips, especially when it’s too late in the day to consume any
caffeine (thus not asking for the rum and Dr. Pepper, which would give me an
equally as odd look).
CRYSTAL LIGHT ENERGY (WILD
STRAWBERRY): Those who know we really
well know this is what I refer to as my “pink crack.” This is a powdered substance when mixed with
water creates something with a fraction of the sugar and calories of my beloved
Dr. Pepper, and twice the caffeinated content.
This was what I used to wean myself off of DP. I had to make these clarifying statements at
start to explain the extra step required for this round of trials. The thought of just mixing the powder
directly into the rum was interesting (as well, I’m sure, the resulting
alcohol-caffeine explosion), but I kept it the normal baseline on how I have my
“pink crack” each morning. A regular
batch was mixed with the appropriate amount of water, and then that’s what I
combined with the various rum types.
Other than regular Bacardi resulting in a solid Three Star rating,
everything else was Two Stars. Actually,
I consider this a positive result. Now I
can mix rum in with my morning “pink crack” and no one at work would notice.
SOBE BANANA COLADA: One type of pre-made Pina Colada drink
deserves another. For the sake of this
experiment it does, even though I thought it rather unlikely it would yield
different results. But since Kai
provided this for me, I’d see how this turn out any way. Not surprisingly, even attempt came out with
a One Star rating. As Yoda says, “Do, or
do not. There is no try.” I did, Master Yoda, and there is no good.
HAWAIIAN PUNCH FRUIT JUICY
RED: My co-workers enjoyed hearing my
regular reports of this, and many had been scouting for other items I might be
able to use. Leslie provided the next two
items as birthday gifts to me. These
were not “powdered mixes” but large jugs full of sugar-enhanced flavored water
(so I wouldn’t have to take the extra steps like I did with the “pink crack”). She was excited to hear that all but one of
the combinations ended up being pretty decent, and got Three Star ratings. The only one that didn’t was the Parrot Bay
Coconut, which gave an awesome Four Star rating. Now I could “Go Hawaiian” and Caribbean at the same time, mon. What a great way to round out the month of
May.
HAWAIIAN PUNCH LEMON BERRY
SQUEEZE: For the last of the birthday
beverages she’d given me, Leslie’s enthusiasm for this was reserved, as she had
considered it potentially the least likely to produce good results. Those comments were probably why I saved it
for last, and figured this would be a good way to finish out the month of
June. When asked how long I was planning
on doing this, my sarcastic response had been “all year” (which was provided
I’d have enough items to carry me through.
This was now Round 22, and I felt the pickings for mixers were starting
to get slim. It didn’t matter what
calendar date I went to, but I did want to attempt 25 mixers in total. This ended up being more like the first of
the Hawaiian Punch’s as opposed to the second.
Regular Bacardi and Goslings each gave Two Star ratings. Keep in mind, that’s still considered
“drinkable, but not the best.” Gold and
Spiced both provided Three Star results, so pretty tasty. Oh, but once again Parrot Bay carries the
day, and produces a solid (and yummy) Four Star rating. And when combined with tequila, it gave Two
Stars. Overall, each of the three mixes
Leslie gifted me with ended up being pretty well, so I have reason to buy this
product again. Normally I don’t drink
“sugar water,” but if it ends up being versatile enough as a mixer, then I’ll
oblige.
GRAPE JUICE: Yeah, I tend to drink this in the morning too
(when I’m alternating from apple juice), so it seemed like a good way to start
off what was the final month of the Rum Experiment of 2011. The initial mixes weren’t very promising, as
both Bacardi’s and the Goslings only rated Two Stars, so I pretty much expected
the remainders to be about the same. I
was nicely surprised when the Captain Morgan Spiced combination yielded Three
Stars, and extremely surprised with Parrot
Bay
CONCLUSION
Dave is a nut for even thinking
about this, much less actually doing it.
Twenty-five rounds over a six month period was a pretty decent
showing. There are two things that
astute readers will notice, and I do have to respond to them.
People who know me really well know
how I like to drink milk (especially the chocolate variety, and milkshakes in
general), and milk is absent from this list.
While back in the 80’s and 90’s there were many milkshakes made with
some “alcohol additive,” the density never mingled to my satisfaction. Okay, it got me drunk, but wasn’t as pleasant
as I would’ve wished. Thus knowing the consistencies
of milk and not as thick rum don’t blend very well together, I didn’t even put
milk in the running for this experiment.
I may have done some regular Bacardi with some milk before this crazy
thing began with, but it wasn’t officially done. Past experiments have shown that if you’re
going to “add” something to milk products, stick with Bailey’s Irish Crème or
even Kahlua.
The other obvious item is the lack
of Five Star ratings. I reserved that
for things that were truly exceptional, things which rocked my world. Many will point out I simply have unrealistic
expectations (as one my personality flaws is to see more negative things than
positive). You could tell by my reports
of how I thought thing came out, and could easily shift everything one star
rating upwards (thus Fours become Fives, “below average” becomes “average,” and
what not). That would work to a certain
degree, but if I gave something less than Two Stars, I found it pretty bad to
start with (which would tell you what I thought of the Zero Stars).
Even in hindsight, I won’t adjust
the ratings (meaning no “grading on a curve”), because somewhere out there is a
combination I haven’t found which could result in something which I’d deem
worthy of Five Stars. How many different
types of rums are out there (discounting the different flavored rums)? I conceivably could’ve easily had ten
different rums if I added in some of the flavored ones. That could’ve made this experiment last an
entire year. Perhaps I do that in the
future. >grin<
I had a lot of fun doing this. Not only was I having new experiences, but
the frequent reports I gave my co-workers (and other peeps) allowed me to share
it with them (although vicariously). And
even like the travel blogs themselves, while I enjoyed presenting them for
people to read, I hope that will also spur people to get out and find
interesting things for themselves. We
should never stop learning or exploring, no matter how old we get. There’s so much out there in world, and it
should be enjoyed.
EPILOGUE:
Since the close of the experiment,
my rum preference has focused a bit to be pretty exclusively Cruzan. There have been other brands I’ve tried, each
with their own distinctive flavors. But
I’ve come up with specific combinations that I thought I’d share with you too.
Dr. Pepper mixed with black cherry
rum creates a nice alcoholic version of Cherry DP. This works the same way for Coke, too. Any of the above DP mixes I’m pretty sure
will yield similar results when done with Coke (do to its distinctive
flavor). The same can’t be said for
Pepsi, because that beverage just sucks to begin with.
And when I mix some coconut and
pineapple rum with the Dole Orange-Strawberry-Banana Juice (and splash in some
grenadine), I come up with a close approximation of the rum punches I had in
Turks & Caicos. I did try to add in
some banana rum to that in an attempt to enhance the taste (and increase the
booze content), and I found there was no real benefit to do so.
*** 30 ***
No comments:
Post a Comment